homemaking with loojie

The Nigerian scam is so passé. Now it's all about the Iraqi scam:

Dear Sir,

I have made this contact to you with the hope that you can help me out in this my dilemma / problem. I was the personal aide to the Iraqi minister of education and research. Dr Abd Al-khaliq Gafar. That died in the war. Before the war, we had traveled to France to negotiate a contract payment deal on behalf of the Iraqi government on procurement and payment of educational materials and components for the ministry, which entailed him to pay off our customers by cash for onward delivery of the goods via Turkey. Because of international / UN monetary restrictions /sanction on Iraqi. Since our entire operating bank accounts had been frozen.

In gust of this he had cleverly diverted this sum ($28.5m) for himself and secured it properly with a security vault in Spain for safekeeping. As he had kept these documents in hidden and secret with my knowledge. Now that he is Dead and I was able to escape to Egypt for safety on political asylum with this document with me now. Hence I am left with these problems of how to recover and collect this fund for re-invest in a viable venture in your country with your assistance and cooperation. Because of oblivious traveling restricts and sanctions as an Iraqi.

I would really want us to do this deal together if only you can be trusted with this information and project. For more details do reach me via my direct email : mustapha_el@mail2guard.com for further instructions and details. I most remind you that my entire life depends on this fund so please do not relay this top secret to a third party if you are not interested.

I await you immediate response.

Remain Blessed.

Regards
El - Mustapha .

posted by JCA @ 12:03 PM 0 Comments  

From the email file:

How to Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won! 3rd time this week!!!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

posted by JCA @ 4:54 PM 0 Comments  

your [sic] asshole.


What swear word are you?
@ Quizilla

posted by JCA @ 4:29 PM 0 Comments  

Referred from one of my studygroupmates as a brain break: At the Gay Bar. Love how they synchronized the lip movements!

posted by JCA @ 4:38 PM 0 Comments  

This is the damn coolest sci-fi geek site I've yet seen. You can compare pretty much any intergalactic vessel (and some carbon-based lifeforms as well) on scale with a Boeing 747!

posted by JCA @ 2:06 PM 0 Comments