Thanksgiving Spinach

When you need to bring "something green," try this:

2 big bags frozen spinach, thawed and squeezed dry
9 eggs
1 Tbs garlic powder
2 boxes feta crumbles (our Giant had the basil-sundried tomato kind on sale)
Salt & pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 and grease a 13x9 Pyrex dish. Crack eggs into mixing bowl and whisk smooth. Whisk in garlic powder. Add spinach and toss to coat with egg. Stir in feta crumbles. Pack mixture into Pyrex dish and bake 45 minutes or until firm and unrunny (start checking after 30 minutes -- don't let it brown).

Magdalenas

These are the Spanish equivalent of French madeleines, with ingredients adapted to suit a country replete with olive and orange groves. Use your best olive oil -- you can really taste it.

3 eggs, room temp
1 1/2 cup sugar
1 cup olive oil
1 cup milk
Zest of 1 orange
1 tsp baking powder
3 cups flour

Preheat oven to 350. In stand mixer with paddle attachment, beat eggs and sugar until pale-yellow and kind of fluffy. Add oil and milk alternately, making sure the batter doesn't splatter everywhere. Add orange zest, then flour and baking powder. (This makes a TON of batter. I usually bake two trays of teacakes and still wind up with a tupperware of leftover batter in the fridge.)

Spoon batter parsimoniously (it will rise) into a well-oiled tea cake pan or mini-muffin cups. Bake 20 minutes or so, until the edges are starting to go golden brown and pull slightly away from the pan. Cool on a rack and sift powdered sugar over the cakes once they've cooled.

Store in an airtight container. These go stale quickly if you leave them out.

Apple Gazpacho

I served this in crystal cordial glasses with little demitasse spoons at the tea we hosted for the National Cathedral congregation.

2 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, and chopped
1 seedless cucumber, peeled and chopped
1 handful cilantro, chopped
1 shallot, chopped
Juice of 1 lime

Puree in Cuisinart. Serve chilled.

Tres Leches Cupcakes

The DOCC '09 farewell party fell on Cinco de Mayo, so my contribution to the potluck reception was pretty much a foregone conclusion.

Tres Leches Capqueks
thanks to Cat Forp for the Mexican orthographic insight

For the sponge:
8 eggs, separated
1 1/3 C granulated sugar, divided
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/4 C all purpose flour
3 Tbs corn starch
1 tsp baking powder
pinch of salt

For the syrup:
3/4 C evaporated milk
3/4 C heavy cream
11 oz condensed milk (3/4 can)

Preheat oven to 350F. Line muffin tins with cupcake cups. This recipe makes slightly more than two dozen, so you may wish to set up a tin with mini-cupcake liners for the excess batter.

In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the egg yolks, vanilla, and 1 cup of the sugar until pale and fluffy. Add the flour, baking powder, cornstarch and salt. Mix until thick and gluey.

Meanwhile, in your stand mixer, beat the egg whites until soft peaks form. Add 1/3 C sugar at the end. Don't go too far -- you want your meringue silky, not stiff. Fold meringue into the gluey batter. (Start with a little of the meringue to loosen it up, then gently add the rest.)

Fill cupcake liners about halfway. Bake at 350 F for 15-18 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Cupcakes should just be darkening to golden brown.

With a small paring knife, carve a cone out of the center of each cupcake as though you were going to fill them with actual cupcake filling. Since you won't be -- the milk soaks into the cake -- leave the cones intact. Don't eat them. :)

Whisk the three milks together in a large measuring cup. The resulting dairy product should be at once creamy, syrupy, and slightly sticky. Pour some into the hollow of each cupcake and replace the cone. When you've finished filling all the cupcakes, go back to the first one, remove the cone, refill with milk, replace the cone, and repeat for all the rest. The sponge will absorb the milk.

(If you make miniature cupcakes, don't bother carving out the cones, just poke the cakes with a toothpick and then douse them in milk.)

Refrigerate. Word has it that these improve the longer they sit.

I frosted mine with a stabilized cinnamon whipped cream:

1 tsp gelatine
2 Tbs cold water
2 cups heavy cream
2 tsp cinnamon (I like cinnamon! Use less for subtler flavor)

Chill the bowl and whisk attachment from your stand mixer in the fridge or freezer. The cream should be cold too. Sprinkle gelatine over cold water in a small bowl. Wait five minutes until it gels up. Pour cream into cold mixing bowl, add cinnamon, and begin to whip with cold whisk. Microwave gelled gelatine for ten seconds to liquefy. Drizzle into whipping cream. Whip totality to soft peaks, then just a bit more to hold the texture of your piping. Don't overwhip. Really, don't ever overwhip.

Thoroughly Redundant Chocolate Tarts

Chris Dudley, my voice teacher, had a birthday this past Saturday (March 21, for the record). When asked his favorite flavor, the good fellow specified "It's chocolate all the way for me." So are these tarts.

Thoroughly Redundant Chocolate Tarts

Chocolate Tart Crusts
(Martha Stewart's recipe)

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup sugar
2 tablespoons unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
6 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
3 large egg yolks
1/2 teaspoon good vanilla extract

1. Pulse flour, sugar, cocoa, and salt in a food processor until combined. Add butter, and pulse until mixture resembles coarse meal, about 10 seconds. Add yolks and vanilla, and process until mixture just begins to hold together (no longer than 30 seconds).

2. Knead dough a little to soften, but not too much. Wrap in plastic, and refrigerate until firm, at least 1 hour (or up to 2 days).

3. Preheat oven to 350. Roll out dough into circles of appropriate size; line a pie plate, tart pan, tartlet pans or even mini-muffin tins with the stuff. Be sure to grease any tin from which you intend to extract an intact tart crust. Pierce with a fork or blind-bake with weights to keep crust from poofing. Bake 12-15 minutes for small tarts, maybe 20 minutes for larger ones.

Dark Chocolate Ganache Custard

12 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped (I used Guittard couverture)
1 cup heavy whipping cream
2 large egg yolks
1 large egg
1/4 cup sugar
1 tablespoon flour
A few grinds of fresh black pepper
Pinch of salt
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

1. Preheat oven to 325. Melt chopped chocolate and cream together, either in a bain-marie over low heat or in thirty-second bursts in the microwave, whisking each time until ganache is thick and smooth.

2. Whisk egg yolks, egg, sugar, flour, ground black pepper, salt and cinnamon in medium bowl to blend.

3. Gradually whisk ganache into egg mixture until smooth and blended. Pour filling into cooled tart crusts.

4. Bake tarts until filling puffs slightly at edges and center is softly set, about 15-20 minutes depending on the size of your tart.

Chocolate Whipped Cream Frosting

(Skip the gelatine stabilizer if you don't want cake frosting. Unstabilized chocolate whipped cream is great for general dessert-topping use.)

1/2 teaspoon Knox gelatine
1 tablespoon cold water

1 cup heavy whipping cream
1/2 teaspoon good vanilla extract
2 tablespoons unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder
2 tablespoons sugar

1. In the bowl of your stand mixer, whisk together cream, vanilla, cocoa and sugar. Stick in the fridge and let chill for 15-30 minutes until sugar and cocoa have dissolved.

2. (this step can be omitted) Sprinkle gelatine over cold water. Let sit for five minutes. Warm in the microwave for just a few seconds until mixture is liquid.

3. Whip cream mixture until soft peaks form. Drizzle liquid gelatine into cream. Continue to whip until stiff peaks form. Pipe over cooled tarts.

Dust with cocoa for thoroughly redundant tarts.

Figgy Pudding

& and I hosted our first annual DC Wassail party this year: a tour of the National Tree and fifty-odd state (and commonwealth and territory) trees on the Ellipse, followed by warming treats and carols at 206. The cider and eggnog we served came out of store-bought containers, but the peppermint bark, salted caramels, maple marzipan and figgy pudding were all prepared with love by yours truly.

Yes, FIGGY PUDDING.

Because how can you have a wassailing party without figgy pudding?

Having never cooked nor even tasted the stuff before, I turned to Professor Google in search of a recipe. I found this one, which I (and all our guests) wholeheartedly recommend.

I gashed each dried fig with a paring knife, tossed them all into a pot of water laced with cinnamon that I'd just brought to a boil and removed from the heat, and let them steep overnight before chopping them for the recipe the next morning.

(Now Bring Us A) Figgy Pudding, DC-style

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, at room temperature
2 eggs
1 cup molasses
2 cups dried figs (about 1 pound), stems removed, chopped fine
1/2 teaspoon grated lemon peel (or lemon extract --ed.)
1 cup buttermilk
1/2 cup walnuts, chopped
2-1/2 cups flour (I used spelt flour to no ill effect --ed.)
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Preheat oven to 325 F.

In your stand mixer with the paddle attachment, cream the butter until fluffy. Add eggs and molasses and beat again. Add figs, lemon, buttermilk, and walnuts. Blend 1 minute. Add flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Blend until everything is incorporated.

Butter an 8" round, deep casserole dish and pour in the batter. Bake for 1.5 hours, or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

Spoon pudding out onto plates or cut it into wedges. Garnish with whipped cream.

Light and Fluffy Saturday Bread Pudding

Yesterday at an office holiday party, I had a slice of bread pudding from a caterer's chafing dish and was fairly disgusted by how greasy it was. (I ate the whole thing anyway though; 'tis the season.) Seriously: why does bread pudding need a stick of butter to make it taste good? I concluded that it didn't.

Reasonably Healthy Bread Pudding

1 cup raisins
4 eggs
1/2 cup vanilla soy milk
1/4 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp cinnamon
pinch salt
1/2 baguette, cubed

Preheat oven to 375. Butter four ramekins. (This is the only butter in the recipe.)

Steep raisins in hot water (or tea, or rum, or other marinade of your choice) until tender. In a mixing bowl whisk together eggs, soy milk, sugar, and flavorings. Add other flavorings if you like -- maybe some cocoa or mint or coconut? When custard is smooth, dump in bread cubes, stir around until moist, then tamp down until the bread sponges up the custard. Drain the raisins and stir them into the mix.

Decant mixture into ramekins, position these in a Pyrex dish, and bake for 45-50 minutes or until custard puffs up, is set in the center, and the tips of the bread cubes are just starting to darken to chocolate brown.

Trick #1: Instead of salt, add to the custard a pinch of New Hampshire blend: maple sugar, salt and pepper.

Trick #2: Recycle the soaking liquid from other fruit you've been marinating -- I had a pot of cinnamon water in which figs had steeped overnight -- to enhance the flavor of the raisins.

Trick #3: Pull the dish of ramekins out of the oven after 20 minutes and drizzle a bit of honey over each. Pop back in the oven. Honey will both moisturize and caramelize the custard.

Frittata de Blanc

I rarely remember to write down the recipes that magically emerge from the odd lots and leftovers laying around my fridge. This one was yummy and easy enough that it's worth remembering.

Frittata de Blanc
with apologies to The Police

1 small (bigger than a golf ball, smaller than a peach) potato, peeled and grated*
1 shallot, peeled and grated*
1 glog olive oil
Black pepper**
1 chunk grilled mahi-mahi, about the size of your hand, chopped
1 pint pasteurized egg whites (half a quart carton)
Grated pecorino cheese

Saute potato and shallot in olive oil. Add mahi-mahi and toss until fish is heated through. Pour egg whites over fish mixture. Don't scramble. Trust the sides of your skillet to cook the egg whites and not burn. Okay, maybe scrape a bit around the edges just to keep the thing round.

Turn on your broiler. When the egg whites are starting to look opaque and set up, take the skillet off the burner and pop it under the broiler. Check after five minutes to make sure that the edges are starting to puff up. When they're looking puffy, but the surface hasn't browned yet, pull the skillet out of the oven, grate pecorino cheese over the frittata until you can smell it, then pop the skillet back in the oven. Keep an eye on it. In another minute or two it should be good and puffy and brown.

Slice and serve. Delicious under a slathering of Uncle Brutha's #10 Hot Sauce (as are most things short of ice cream).

* I bought my Microplane grater on clearance at Bed Bath and Beyond, got it home, and realized why this fancy supersharp implement was only ten bucks: it was missing the handhold for the object being grated. I figured this out when I got down to the end of the potato and grated my thumb. And then again with the shallot. (My boss says, a propos, that latkes are never actually kosher for this exact reason: there's always a little blood mixed in.)

** In retrospect this could have used more seasoning. I bet chopped fresh basil would be lovely, or perhaps some curry powder. Or maybe stir in some dijon mustard or hot sauce.

Lemon Bars for Aimee's Birthday

&'s mother requested lemon squares for her birthday. I took the basic recipe and personalized it with cardamom, a spice that Aimee learned to enjoy in her coffee while living in Cairo.

Cardamom Lemon Bars

2 cups flour
1 cup powdered sugar
2 sticks butter, melted

4 eggs
1 tsp fresh-ground cardamom (about 12-15 cardamom pods)
2 cups sugar
Juice of 2 lemons
2 Tbsp lemon zest (or thereabouts; & zested the lemons so fine and fluffy, I just grabbed a couple big pinches of the stuff)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 cup flour

Powdered sugar for sprinkling

Prep:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9 x 13 Pyrex dish with the paper wrappers off your sticks of butter.

Shortbread:

Combine 2 cups flour, 1 cup powdered sugar and butter. Stir until doughy and press into a 9 x 13 pan. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes until edges are golden brown. Let cool.

Custard:

Smash cardamom pods in your mortar and pestle. Remove pod skins and grind seeds to a powder. Muddle in some of the sugar.

Crack eggs into a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment and start whisking. Add cardamom sugar, then the rest of the sugar, whisking until light. Add lemon juice and zest, then flour and baking powder, whisking until combined. Pour mixture over cooled shortbread and bake at 350 for 25 minutes.

Sprinkle powdered sugar over the baked custard while still hot. It will caramelize and create a thin crisp layer on top of your finished lemon bars, so reserve more powdered sugar if you want a snowy-white layer on top of the final product.

Chill before cutting. These are best eaten with a fork, but if you want finger-food bars you could even freeze them.

&'s favorite bread

Inspired by Laura K.'s beer bread recipe. This comes together in minutes, makes a fine "what shall we bring?" addition to any dinner party, and is a great way to use up those bottles of crappy Yuengling beer that somehow materialized in the back of my fridge. & loves it with curry but you could substitute cinnamon or green herbs for a different effect. If you use lousy beer, you don't get any beery flavor at all in the loaf.

Curry Beer Bread

3 cups flour
2 Tbsp sugar
4 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 Tbsp curry powder
1 bottle of beer (Yuengling serves)
1/2 stick butter, melted

Combine dry ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Add beer and stir until dough comes together (it will be sticky). Scrape into greased 9"x5" loaf pan. Spoon half of the melted butter over the top of the dough. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Brush with remaining melted butter. Bake for about 25 minutes more.

Sunday Morning Pancakes

& and I have made these for three out of the past four Sundays. (The fourth, we spent in San Francisco.)

1 1/3 c. flour or Whole Foods Gluten Free Bisquick Knockoff
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp sea salt

2 Tbs butter, melted
1 Tbs vanilla
3/4 cup + 2 Tbs warm water
1 Tbs honey

2 egg whites, beaten to stiff peaks

In a bowl combine the first four (dry) ingredients. Melt butter in measuring cup; add honey, vanilla and water. Pour wet ingredients into dry ingredients, then gently fold in egg whites. Batter will be thick and fluffy, not runny like you'd expect.

Scoop batter by the ladleful into a preheated skillet (nonstick or sprayed with olive oil, or both). Flip when they're poofy and beginning to crisp. Serve with ginger honey from the cathedral herb shop, or leftover cupcake frosting, or anything, really.

Amarula cupcakes with cinnamon mousse frosting

I'd been waiting to bake these ever since I bought a bottle of Amarula Cream on the suggestion of a (gay?) guy who turned out to be a one-date wonder. I don't tend to drink creamy drinks; I'd rather have a glass of wine, a dram of single malt, or hell, a glass of water.

But as a cupcake flavoring, bwah! Amarula Cream is awesome. I finally had the occasion to break out the bottle on the occasion of Pam's birthday, and will definitely be baking these again. The combination of Amarula and cinnamon flavors was beautiful, so subtle, sheer bliss.

Amarula Cupcakes

1/3 cup butter, softened
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/3 cups all purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup Amarula Cream liqueur

Preheat oven to 350 F. Line muffin tin with cupcake cups.
In your stand mixer, cream together butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, followed by vanilla extract. Add the leavening, salt, and half the flour, then the Amarula, then the rest of the flour.

Scoop batter into cupcake cups and bake for about 20 minutes. Cakes will be golden and, inexplicably, freckled with lemon yellow.

Frost with Cinnamon Mousse Frosting:

1 c (1 8oz carton) heavy cream
1 tsp cinnamon, or more if you're using really good Vietnamese cinnamon
4 oz white chocolate
1 c (1 8oz tub) mascarpone cheese

Chop the chocolate and dump in your mixing bowl. Pour the cream over top and nuke the bowl, 30 seconds at a time, whisking vigorously after each go, until the chocolate is melted and you've emulsified it into the cream. Whisk in cinnamon, then chill overnight.

The next morning, fit your stand mixer with the whisk attachment and pour half the ganache into the bowl. Add the mascarpone and whip until well combined, roughly 2 minutes. Add the other half of the ganache, and beat until the frosting holds stiff peaks. Pipe over cupcakes and garnish with ... well ... I'm boring, I garnish everything with my Spanish dragees.

inspired by vichyssoise

...but ultimately so divergent from vichyssoise that I can hardly call it that.

3 leeks, trimmed
1 Tbs butter*
1 lb. sunchokes (Jerusalem artichokes), peeled and chopped
1 shallot, peeled and chopped
2 small cloves garlic, peeled and chopped
1 vegan bouillon cube
2 1/2 cups water
1 dried chipotle pepper, ground in a mortar and pestle

Boil leeks within an inch of their lives. Reserve broth. (I drink it neat, hot or cold -- love the stuff.)

Melt butter* in skillet and add shallots, sunchokes and garlic. Lower heat and let 'em sweat for a bit. In a separate saucepan, bring water to a boil and dissolve bouillon cube. When the little bits of shallot in your skillet are starting to brown and crisp, scrape the contents of the skillet into the saucepan. Add a chipotle pepper that you've ground up in your mortar and pestle. Simmer for a long time, until the sunchokes absorb most of the liquid and are soft. (You may need to add more liquid. Use the leek broth.)

When sunchoke mixture is cooked down, place boiled leeks in Cuisinart. Add sunchoke mixture. Puree. Thin with more leek broth as needed.

Delight in this.

* The butter makes this non-vegan, but I love the flavor it adds. For a vegan version (and a different flavor), substitute olive oil.

cranberry et al. chutney

My fridge, post-holidays: picked over, but not without a few surprises.

1 apple, peeled and cored
1 handful fresh cranberries
1 handful shelled pistachios
1 shallot, chopped
1/4 c balsamic vinegar
1/4 c sugar
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp cinnamon

Combine in a saucepan over low heat. Cook down. When the cranberries pop, squash them with your wooden spoon. Eventually the mixture should cook down to the texture of thick relish.

Use as the tart condiment on a cheese plate, spoon onto crackers or turkey sandwiches, or heck, eat with a spoon.

kitchen cleanout extravaganza

Ways to use up stuff in your kitchen when you're about to move house:

- Use up leftover salad dressing as a marinade for meat or fish.

- Zest and juice a lemon; add the juice to the water when you make couscous, and stir in the zest afterward.

- Add a healthy shake of curry powder to the water whenever you cook a whole grain.

- Things you can stir into cooked whole grains: a few spoons of tomato sauce, pan-fried onions/garlic, chopped up leftover meat or fish, chopped raw veggies and/or herbs laying around in your fridge, or even nuts (almonds, walnuts, pecans). Experiment with flavor combinations .

- Toss leftover brown rice with a can of kidney beans (drained and rinsed) and some sausages from the freezer, sliced into coins and panfried. Sprinkle generously with Old Bay seasoning and any hot sauce you'd like to use up.

- Crush leftover crackers in a mortar and pestle. Stir into canned crab, salmon, or tuna. Add a beaten egg, a spoonful of mayonnaise, and any spice you want to use up (curry powder, for example, or Old Bay seasoning). Form into patties and panfry.

- Experiment with unconventional baked goods, like brown rice cookies or mayonnaise cookies.

Alecto's Eclectic Pilaf

I am eating this for dinner right now.

1 c quinoa (mix of red and white)
2 c water
1 vegan broth cube
1 tsp curry powder

Combine the above in your saucepan, bring to a boil, lower to a simmer, cover and cook for 15 minutes. While doing so, chop up:

1 poblano pepper
1 handful fresh watercress
1 smoked Boca sausage, thawed

When quinoa is done, toss with goodies. Let cool to room temperature if it's a hot day.

Serve with Turkish sheep's milk feta cheese and grape tomatoes; these are good either on the side or mixed in.

Barbara's Summer Tomato Pie

One of my stepmother's finest contributions to my dietary canon. If you make this pie with Jersey tomatoes in July or August, you'll know what I mean. (Yes, I'm from New Jersey, where we take tomatoes seriously.)

Summer Tomato Pie

1 pie crust, baked and cooled*

2-3 good big summer tomatoes, sliced
1/2 - 1 onion, sliced (sweet Maui or Vidalia onions are best)
1 cup mayonnaise
1 cup grated cheddar cheese (add more if you enjoy melted cheese)
Salt and pepper
Dried herbs to taste

Layer thickly-sliced tomatoes in your baked pie crust. Use a lot, they shrink. Sprinkle salt, pepper, and your choice of dried herbs (Barbara uses dried basil and chives) over the tomatoes, then spread an onion, sliced into thin circles, over top of that.

Mix mayonnaise and grated cheese together in a medium-sized mixing bowl. Spread over the whole pie. Bake 30 minutes at 350 F. Serve warm.

* A storebought frozen pie crust works just fine, but if you don't have any in the freezer, make an

Easy-as-Pie Crust (recipe for 1 single-crust pie)

1 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup (1 stick) chilled butter
1/2 teaspoon kosher or coarse salt
3 tablespoons ice water

Combine flour and salt in mixing bowl. Cut in butter with a pastry cutter until the clumps are the size of small peas. (Don't use your hands or the pastry will get heavy and gummy; you want the butter to stay cold.) Add ice water and stir in with a fork. Don't add extra water even if you think it needs it -- trust me, it doesn't.

Gather up dough into a ball, wrap in plastic, flatten into a rough disc shape and refrigerate for a half hour. When dough is cool and firm, flour your rolling pin and roll the disk out into a 12" circle. (I do this on a big flexible plastic cutting board, then invert the circle directly into my Pyrex pie plate.) Prick dough all over with a fork, then bake at 425 F for 15-18 minutes until golden brown. Cool before filling. Also great for quiches.

Cornmeal Cardamom Cookies

These are addictive -- between the crunch of the cornmeal and the elegant cardamom fragrance, they're perfect both as a standalone munchie or to dunk in a cup of coffee, tea, or milk.

1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter, softened
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup packed light brown sugar
1 large egg
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
3/4 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp ground cardamom
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup yellow cornmeal

Beat together butter and sugars in a large bowl with an electric mixer until pale and fluffy. Beat in egg, vanilla, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, and cardamom. Mix in flour and cornmeal until just blended. Wrap dough in plastic and chill for at least 2 hours.

Preheat oven to 350 F and line your baking sheets with trusty cooking parchment. Pinch off pieces of dough and roll them into balls (a good size is somewhere between a cherry and a golf ball). Punch each little doughball down into a round disk in the palm of your hand. Bake 18-20 minutes or until golden.

I made these to thank a co-worker who helped me unload a U-Haul full of furniture, including the biggest heaviest queen-sized mattress known to man. Steve isn't normally a fan of crunchy cookies, but devoured these with abandon. The next time you're moving house, have a batch of these ready to reward your heavy lifters -- they'll thank you!

Salsa Verde (cruda como te gusta)

Tomatillos make me smile. Ben Franklin is reputed to have said that beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy; I think that tomatillos must prove something similar. Who can help but grin at these snappy little green things -- is it a fruit or a vegetable? I think a fruit, technically -- with a flavor and texture halfway between a tomato and a Granny Smith apple? I need to find more uses for these little buddies of mine. Right now, here's my favorite preparation.

(extra credit since it's all raw! as my nutritionist recommends)

Salsa Verde

4 tomatillos, husked, rinsed and chopped
6 fresh serrano chiles, or more to taste, sliced
1 shallot, chopped
Juice of 1 lime, or more to taste
A healthy dose of tequila

Combine all ingredients in blender. Pulse until chunky. If too liquidy (I tend to be overgenerous with both the lime juice and the tequila), decant into a colander and let the juice drain off into a bowl until the salsa is dry enough for your liking.

I drink the runoff juice neat. If you're not insane like me, you could use it as a mixer (mmm, Bloody Marys!), salad dressing, or seasoning in grain dishes, too.

Chipotles en Adobo

There are a bunch of similar recipes floating around online; you may fiddle with the proportions to determine your own favorite. This is the recipe I've used for the past ten years.

Chipotles en Adobo
originally emailed to me by Melinda, February 1997

A dozen or so dried chipotles, stemmed and split in half
1 medium onion, sliced into thin arcs
2 cloves garlic, sliced into thin coins
1/3 cup vinegar
5 Tbs ketchup or tomato paste
3 cups water
Pinch salt

Combine all ingredients in saucepan; bring to boil; lower heat and simmer, covered, for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, until chipotles are soft and liquid has reduced to 1 cup.

You can either eat the chipotles (and onions and garlic) straight from the jar, or puree everything in the blender for a delicious thick sauce. I recommend the former only if you live either by yourself or with people who won't object to your breath afterward. The stewing liquid is a tasty sauce on its own, tossed with pasta or in a pilaf.

"Dirty Dozen" Habanero Sauce

Next in the series of My Favorite Hot Sauces: a brightly-flavored, carrot-based sauce, spiced with an enormous quantity of habaneros. Best made in the spring and summer, when the habs at your grocery store are the big fresh bright red ones.

(I don't need to tell you not to chop habaneros with your bare hands, right? At least wear rubber gloves. I spear mine with a fork.)

"Dirty Dozen" Habanero Sauce
Cribbed off the old UC Berkeley recipe server, circa 2000

1 medium onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, put through a press
1 Tbs olive oil
1/2 c carrots, chopped into coins
1/2 c water (plus more as needed)

12 (yes, 12) fresh habaneros, chopped
1/2 c vinegar
juice of 1 lime

Saute onions and garlic in oil until soft but not brown. Add carrots and water. Bring to boil, reduce heat and simmer until carrots are cooked through (squish one with a wooden spoon to test). You may need to keep adding water while this goes on; the carrots soak it up. When carrots are done, remove to a blender. Add habaneros, vinegar and lime juice and blend until smooth. Return to saucepan and simmer 2-5 minutes to blend the flavors.

Another fairly thick sauce, but this you can bottle in any ordinary hot sauce bottle.

Hot Smoke Finishing Sauce

I've been rediscovering an old hobby lately: homemade hot sauce. These are a few of my favorite hot sauces.

Hot Smoke Finishing Sauce
cribbed off of the old UC Berkeley recipe server, circa 2000

This is a delicious barbecue-type sauce, less hot than just plain flavorful. There's just so much going on -- bourbon, cocoa, chipotles, maple syrup! The original recipe called for dried thyme, but I substitute dried cilantro, just to keep all that coriander company.

2 Tbs olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
6 cloves garlic, put through a press
1 Tbs brown sugar
1/3 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup bourbon
1 cup vinegar (any kind; I usually use plain white)
1 tsp allspice
1 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp dried cilantro
1 tsp cinnamon
1 Tbs coriander
1 Tbs unsweetened cocoa powder
8 chipotles, canned or dried, split in half
1 habanero, split in half
1 (14 oz) bottle ketchup
1 1/2 cups water
pinch salt

Heat oil. Saute onion and garlic until soft. Lower heat. Add sugar, maple syrup, bourbon, vinegar, spices, and cocoa. Reduce 5 to 10 minutes. Cut chiles in half and add to pot along with ketchup, water and salt. Simmer over low heat for 90 minutes, covered, stirring occasionally. Add water if sauce becomes thicker than ketchup. Cool slightly and puree in blender. Bottle in a squeeze bottle or wide-mouth jar -- it's thick!

I eat this straight up on crackers. Absolutely mouthwatering.

World's Easiest Polenta

You could stir it for ages over an open flame...or you could work my father's magic.

Put 4 cups boiling water into a large microwave casserole (or heat the water in the microwave).

Mix 2 cups cornmeal into 1 1/2 cups cold water.

Mix this cornmeal slush into the hot water in the casserole.

Cook three minutes in microwave on high. Stir.

Cook 1 minute longer on high. Stir. Let sit a minute or two.

If not done, cook in 1 minute increments until done.

Serving Suggestion #1: Spread polenta on plate; layer in slices of cheese; spread more polenta over the cheese and top with tomato sauce (preferably with meat of some sort).
Apparently the tradition in my grandmother's family was to serve it this way, with sauteed green cabbage and onions on the side.

Serving Suggestion #2: Oil a Pyrex loaf pan and fill with polenta. Chill in fridge overnight. Unmold the next day on your cutting board and slice into small batons, about a half inch thick. Arrange batons on baking sheet, season to taste, and brush with olive oil. Broil for about ten minutes, until crunchy; flip batons with a spatula and broil 5 minutes more until they begin to brown. Yummy dipped in strong-flavored sauces (tomato, barbecue).

The Cinnamon/White Chocolate Cupcake Experience

One of my best Christmas gifts this year was a candy bar: white chocolate laced with cinnamon. It was both yummy and truly inspiring. (As were the tub of sour cream, the slab of Ghirardelli white chocolate and the jar of Vietnamese cinnamon from Christina's, all of which had been singing siren songs from my kitchen ever since I got home from Florida.)

Cinnamon Sour Cream Cupcakes

1 stick butter
1 3/4 c sugar
4 eggs
1 1/2 c sour cream
2 tsp vanilla
2 tbsp really good Vietnamese cinnamon, plus more to taste if it's REALLY good
3 c flour
1 tsp baking powder

Preheat oven to 350 F. Line muffin tins with cupcake cups.

Combine butter and sugar in stand mixer (it will be more crumbly than creamed). Beat in eggs one at a time, then sour cream, then vanilla. Add cinnamon. Add flour and baking soda; test flavors (yes, that means lick the spatula!); add more cinnamon or sugar as needed. Batter will be smooth but thick.

Fill cupcake cups about 3/4 full; bake 20-25 minutes, or until your kitchen smells all cinnamon-heavenly and a toothpick comes out clean from the center of a cake.

White Chocolate Mascarpone Frosting

1 c heavy cream
1 c mascarpone cheese
4 oz white chocolate, chopped fine

Warm the cream over medium heat or in microwave until it feels hot, but do not let it boil (or even simmer). Place the white chocolate in a heatproof mixing bowl and pour the warm cream over it; whisk until the chocolate melts. Chill mixture in your freezer or an ice bath. Place a piece of plastic wrap directly on the surface of the mixture and a second piece over the whole bowl; refrigerate for at least 4 hours. (This, obviously, can be made ahead of time -- like, the day before.)

Combine mascarpone and half of the white chocolate mixture in your stand mixer and whip until well combined, roughly 2 minutes. Add the other half of the white chocolate mixture, increase the speed to high, and beat until the frosting holds stiff peaks.

Frost cooled cupcakes; garnish with a sprinkle of Vietnamese cinnamon. Enjoy!

Chocolate Lavender Cupcakes

Cupcakes in December should be cozy and relaxing. These are both. Literally.

Ingredients:

4 ounces bittersweet (I recommend at least 70%) chocolate, chopped
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1/2 cup unsweetened Dutch cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon coarse kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup plain yogurt (I like the Fage kind from Greece)
1 1/2 cups (packed) brown sugar
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature (try Plugrà!)
2 teaspoons dried lavender blossoms, finely ground in spice mill
4 large eggs

Preheat oven to 350°F. Line muffin tins with cupcake cups. Chop chocolate and melt in Pyrex measuring cup in your microwave, half a minute at a time, until smooth when stirred with a butter knife. Let cool while you proceed with the rest of the recipe.

Sift flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt into medium bowl. Whisk milk and yogurt to blend in small bowl. Using your stand mixer, cream butter and brown sugar. Add eggs, 1 at a time, then add ground lavender. Pour in melted chocolate and continue beating until smooth. Mix in dry ingredients alternately with milk mixture in 3 additions each.

Spoon batter into cupcake cups. Bake 20 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean. Frost with lavender whipped cream.

Frosting:

1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup water
1 tablespoon lavender flowers
1 cup heavy cream
1/2 teaspoon gelatine
1 tablespoon cold water

Simple Syrup: Combine sugar and water over medium heat, stirring with a wooden spoon until sugar dissolves. Add lavender, reduce heat to low, and leave alone for 3 minutes. Shut off heat, get distracted, and go do something else for a half hour or so while the syrup cools. Strain.

Stabilizer: Sprinkle gelatine over cold water. Let sit for five minutes. Warm in the microwave for just a few seconds until mixture is liquid.

Assembly: Whip heavy cream until soft peaks form. Drizzle simple syrup into cream, then add liquid gelatine. Continue to whip until stiff peaks form. Pipe over cooled cupcakes and top with the lavender buds you strained out of the simple syrup (or, if for some reason those are no longer available, with a dusting of good Dutch cocoa).

Pumpkin Cranberry Cupcakes with Pomegranate Frosting

Autumn ingredients lend themselves so well to cupcakes, especially when your ingredients come from the amazing inspiring Trader Joe's collection. These cakes, baked in honor of Jenn's 32d birthday -- 10000 in binary! -- were inspired by three Trader Joe's products: their yummy pomegranate syrup (which also appears in this cake), their orange-flavored dried cranberries, and their pumpkin butter, a confection similar to apple butter only made with the squash instead.

Cupcakes:

1 cup dried cranberries (I used the orange-flavored ones from Trader Joe's --ed.)

1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon cloves
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

1/2 cup butter
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 cup pumpkin butter
1 teaspoon vanilla

2 tablespoons white vinegar or lemon juice
1/2 cup milk
2 tablespoons cream or half-and-half

Preheat oven to 350. Line muffin tins with paper cupcake cups.

The fruit: Cover cranberries in water in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil, then remove from heat and let sit while you assemble the rest of the batter. When you're ready to use the fruit, drain it, reserving the liquid. You can thin the batter with some of this cranberry tea if you're so inclined.

The drys: In a small mixing bowl stir together flour, baking powder, soda, salt and spices; set aside.

The wets: In your stand mixer, cream butter and sugar until fluffy. Beat in eggs, one at a time, then pumpkin butter and vanilla.

The curds: Combine milk and cream or half-and-half in a measuring cup. Stir in vinegar or lemon juice. Mixture will curdle into a funky grainy texture.

The assembly: Add flour mixture and milk mixture alternately to pumpkin butter mixture, beating on low to medium speed after each addition just until combined. Add cranberries last. Fill cupcake cups two-thirds full, then bake at 350 for 20 to 25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the centers comes out clean. Cool and frost.

Frosting:

4 oz (half a brick) cream cheese (plus any leftover cream cheese frosting from previous recipes that you've got in your fridge --ed.)
1 cup powdered sugar, plus more to taste
1/2 cup pomegranate syrup
1 small pomegranate, seeded

Combine cream cheese, sugar and syrup in stand mixer; beat until smooth and spreadable. Test for sweetness/tartness; add more sugar or pomegranate syrup to taste, keeping an eye on the texture. Pipe onto cooled cupcakes. Garnish with handfuls of fresh pomegranate seeds.

Chamomile Apple Cupcakes with Toasted Coconut Frosting

Tis the season for fall foliage, brisk breezes and apple picking. Clearly an autumn-themed cupcake is warranted.

Chamomile Apple Cupcakes:

1 1/4 c water
2 chamomile teabags

3-4 fresh tangy apples

1 stick butter
2 c sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract

2 1/4 c flour
2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp allspice
1/2 tsp salt

Bring water to a boil. Remove from heat, add tea bags, and let steep for a good long time, at least a half hour. Basically, let it steep until the tea has cooled almost to room temperature. I think I left mine for 45 minutes or so (I was doing laundry at the time).

Preheat oven to 350. Line muffin tins with cupcake cups. Peel and slice apples, then chop them to your desired coarseness in your food processor. I like my fruit cupcakes to contain detectable bits of fruit, but if you prefer applesauce or puree, go for it.

Cream butter and sugar together in your stand mixer; add eggs, vanilla, and chopped apples. Whisk dry ingredients together in a separate bowl and slowly beat into to the apple mixture. Beat until batter is smooth (i.e. the only chunks in it are the apples). Remove tea bags and slowly add chamomile tea to batter -- careful, it splashes if your paddle blade is spinning too quickly.

Spoon batter into cupcake cups. (I filled mine half full but they didn't rise as much as I expected; I blame the tea.) Bake about 20-25 minutes; eyeball it; they're done when they're vaguely brown and smell heavenly.

Toasted Coconut Cream Cheese Frosting:

1 tbs butter
1 c coconut
8 oz cream cheese
1/2 tsp vanilla
2 c powdered sugar
(or thereabouts)

Melt butter in a skillet, reduce heat to med-low, and toss coconut around until it turns crunchy and golden, but not brown.

Beat cream cheese in stand mixer until smooth. Add vanilla, then sugar to taste. Add toasted coconut to your liking, with frequent taste and texture checks. Chill frosting to firm it up, then pipe over cooled cupcakes and garnish with more toasted coconut. (Unless you used it all in the frosting, in which case, garnish with a sprinkle of cinnamon.)

Pomegranate Coriander Cake

This cake is tart. Tangy. Sour even. I made it for the Friday law clerks' breakfast and informally polled the people who ate it: one thought it could be a bit sweeter, but everyone else liked it just this sour. If you're baking for people who aren't nearly such fans of acidity, you may want to add an extra quarter cup of brown sugar.

2 c cake flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp ground coriander
1/2 tsp salt
1 c buttermilk
1/2 c pomegranate syrup or pomegranate molasses
3/4 c brown sugar
6 tbsp butter, melted
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 tbsp vanilla extract (this seems like a lot, doesn't it? It worked, but you may wish to try a smaller amount --ed.)

Preheat oven to 350 F. Line a cake pan with a circle of cooking parchment, then grease the rest of the pan.

Sift together flour, baking soda, coriander, and salt. Combine remaining ingredients; beat with a mixer at medium speed until well blended. (I found that the melted butter re-solidified when combined with the chilly buttermilk and eggs. You may wish to bring these to room temperature before adding them. The butter lumps creamed out eventually, though. --ed.) Add flour mixture to buttermilk mixture, stirring just until combined.

Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake for 45 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

It's good with lemon cream cheese frosting:

1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
2 tablespoons lemon juice
Zest of one lemon, grated
1/2 cup powdered sugar, plus more to taste, depending on one's sweet/sour preference
Beat all these in stand mixer until smooth and spreadable.

Ice cake with lemon cream cheese frosting (you can remove it from the pan and cover the whole cake for nicer effect, or leave it in for easy transport); garnish with candied lemon peel or fresh pomegranate seeds. You can also drizzle it with more pomegranate syrup, but this will be prettier if your syrup is actually red and not brown like the stuff I used.

Rustic Rhubarb Cupcakes

These were inspired by a Nigella Lawson cake recipe and a British friend's affection for rhubarb (and Nigella Lawson). I tried to convert the metric measurements and probably screwed them up, but the ingredients wound up working out just fine in these proportions:

4 stalks rhubarb, roughly a pound
1 1/2 c sugar
2/3 c plain flour
2/3 c fine polenta or cornmeal
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
2 large eggs, slightly beaten
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 c. unsalted butter (the original recipe wanted twice as much, I later figured out -- oops! -- but this worked. --ed.)
1 c. plain yogurt

Preheat oven to 350 F. Line muffin tins with cupcake papers.

Peel tough outer skins off of rhubarb and slice it into thin coins. Place these in a bowl and sprinkle with 1/3 cup of sugar; toss and let it sweat for about fifteen minutes, while you're assembling the rest of the batter. (Nigella says not to leave it for longer than a half hour, since too much of the tart juice will leach out of the rhubarb if you do.)

In a medium bowl combine the flour, cornmeal/polenta, salt, cinnamon, and baking soda. In your stand mixer, cream the butter and remaining sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla, and beat well until mixture is fluffy again.

In alternating spoonfuls, add the flour mixture and yogurt to the creamed mixture. Mix these in very slowly to preserve the fluffiness of the mixture. Finally, fold in the rhubarb and all the sugary juices.

Pour batter into prepared tins and bake for 20-25 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean.

I iced these with a standard buttercream frosting, laced with raspberry jam. I won't share the recipe here because (a) I didn't use one and (b) it showed. The cupcakes were fine, though, and garnishing them with cute fresh raspberries almost made up for the underwhelming visual effect of the frosting.

Strawberry Cupcakes with Banana Cream Cheese Frosting

Produced for the annual Appeals Court law clerk appreciation party. No strawberries were harmed in the making of these cupcakes. (Actually, that's a lie.)

1 quart pack of fresh strawberries, or half of a large Trader Joe's pack
3 Tbs sugar
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
3 eggs
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda

Preheat oven to 350 F. Line muffin tins with paper cupcake cups.
In your food processor, whirl strawberries with 3 Tbs sugar until stewy, but still chunky. Cream butter and sugar in stand mixer. Beat in vanilla and eggs, then flour and baking soda, then strawberry mixture.
Fill cupcake cups halfway and bake 20 minutes, or until toothpick comes out clean.

While cupcakes are cooling, combine in your stand mixer:

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, at room temperature
12 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 - 2 cups confectioner's sugar
1 banana, mashed

If frosting is too thick, thin with plain yogurt or sour cream; if not sweet enough, add more sugar. Pipe frosting onto cooled cupcakes and garnish with sliced strawberries (if they're ripe and sweet) or a sprinkling of brown sugar (if, let's say, you happened to run out of confectioner's sugar and wanted to hide the crunch of the homemade icing sugar you used for the rest of the recipe :)

Flourless Dark Chocolate Cake with Red Wine Caramel Sauce

My dear friend and lawyer-godmother Elianna just turned 25. This was her birthday cake:

1 cup (2 sticks) butter, cut into pieces
8 ounces semisweet chocolate chips (about 1 1/2 cups)
1 1/4 cups sugar
1 cup sifted unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon
6 large eggs, separated

Preheat oven to 350 F. Line a 10-inch-diameter springform pan with parchment paper, then butter the sides for good measure.
Melt butter and chocolate together in bain-marie or microwave oven (you can guess which one I preferred --ed). Using the whisk in your stand mixer, beat egg whites until they're fluffy and hold soft peaks.
Combine sugar, cocoa and cinnamon in large bowl. Add egg yolks; whisk until well blended. Whisk in chocolate-butter mixture. Fold in egg whites.
Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake until tester inserted into center comes out clean, about 45 minutes. Cool cake completely before releasing pan sides.

Top with vanilla gelato and this sauce:

1 cup sugar
3 tablespoons water
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup red wine

Combine sugar and water in a small pot and cook, stirring constantly, over medium-low heat until the sugar has melted and caramelized, about 10 minutes.
Remove the pot from the burner and add the cream and wine slowly. Be careful -- the sauce gets all hyper when you do this step.
When the sauce has calmed down, whisk until smooth and return it to the flame. Continue to slowly cook until reduced by half (or less if you like it liquidy; sauce will thicken on cooling).

Guinness Cake

This is the pleasantly-tipsy Irish cousin to the holiday fruitcake that nobody likes. Everyone will like this, though. Trust me.

2 3/4 cup dried fruit (yellow and black raisins, sweet and tart cherries, blueberries, cranberries...use your favorites! --ed.)
1 tall can Guinness, or other stout of your choice
1/2 cup butter
1 cup brown sugar
3 eggs, beaten
2 1/4 cups flour
2 1/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
1/2 teaspoon salt

1. Combine a bunch of different kinds of dried fruit in a bowl and pour a can of Guinness over it all. Allow to soak overnight.

2. Preheat oven to 350F. In your stand mixer, cream the butter and sugar together until smooth, then beat in the eggs one at a time.

3. Drain the fruit, reserving the Guinness separately. Add flour, spices, salt, and drained fruit to butter and sugar mixture. Add enough fresh Guinness to the drained stout (or sip off the excess, if there is any --ed.) until there are 8 fluid ounces in your measuring cup. Add to batter, mixing thoroughly to combine.

4. Grease an 8-inch cake pan and add batter, smoothing the top evenly. Bake in preheated oven for about 1 1/2 hours, until the center is firm and a toothpick comes out clean.

Slainte!

Chocolate Ricotta Muffins

Another fine use for leftover ricotta. Frankly, I think the stuff is underrated as a baking staple. Yay ricotta!

2 1/3 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips (plus more to taste --ed. ;)
1/3 cup cocoa
2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup ricotta cheese
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
1 1/3 cups milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cup melted butter or oil

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line muffin tins with papers, or spray with nonstick spray if you prefer a paperless muffin. In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, chips, cocoa, baking powder and salt.

In a separate bowl, combine ricotta with eggs and beat well. Whisk in milk, vanilla, and melted butter until well blended. (I did this in my stand mixer, then did the following step in reverse, adding the dry ingredients to the wet --ed.) Fold ricotta mixture into flour mixture until just blended. Spoon batter into muffin cups. (It's sticky! --ed.)

Bake 25 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Remove from pans immediately. Admire.

Fresh out of the oven, with the chocolate chips all melted, these are just heavenly.

Toby's Tomato Corn Muffins

In honor of the arrival of baby Toby, I made these muffins when it came my turn to bring dinner to the new family. Mom and Dad loved the melted cheese centers. Toby himself was unimpressed.

1 3/4 cup unbleached all-purpose flour
1/2 cup cornmeal
2 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 can diced tomatoes, drained, or 2 ripe plum tomatoes, diced
1 cup milk
2 large eggs
1/4 cup olive oil
3 ounces mozzarella cheese, cut into cubes

Preheat the oven to 375 F. Grease a dozen regular-sized muffin cups with olive oil (I tried using paper cups, but these were a pain to peel off the finished muffins; better to go with the oil here).

In a large bowl, combine the flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Add tomatoes and toss to distribute evenly.

In another bowl, combine milk, eggs, and olive oil with a whisk. Pour into the flour mixture and stir with a large spatula just until only just moistened. Batter will be lumpy.

Fill muffin cups halfway with batter and place a cube of cheese in the center of each. Cover with the remaining batter until mounded just above the tin. (Don't be afraid to pile it up a little. Muffin tops will round out nicely when baked). Top with mozzarella cheese shreds.

Bake 20 to 25 minutes, or until the muffin tops are golden and feel dry and springy to the touch. Cool in pan for 5 minutes before removing. Serve warm.

Orange-Rosemary Yogurt Cake

This cake is full of surprises -- you would not expect orange zest, rosemary, olive oil and yogurt to marry so well. An excellent brunch (or Friday clerks' breakfast) treat.

2 eggs, brought to room temperature
1 cup plain yogurt (I bet vanilla would work too --ed.)
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup olive oil
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 1/2 Tbsp. orange zest, freshly grated
3-4 stalks fresh rosemary, minced (about 1 Tbsp.)
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 Tbsp. baking powder

1. Preheat oven to 350 F. Line the bottom of a round 8" cake pan, or spring-form pan, with parchment paper (yay! parchment paper!) and grease the sides with olive oil.
2. In a stand mixer, whisk the eggs on low speed. Add yogurt, sugar, olive oil, vanilla, orange zest, and rosemary.
3. In another bowl, sift together the flour and baking powder. Add the flour mixture to the yogurt mixture and blend together, being careful not to over-mix the batter. (Don't be surprised if it comes out a bit stickier than you'd expect cake batter to be -- this is fine.)
4. Pour into pan and bake for 30-35 minutes, or until golden brown and a cake tester inserted into the center comes out clean.
5. Cool completely, then chill. Serve cold. Garnish with dollops of yogurt and a sprinkling of brown sugar to taste.

I bet this would also work well baked in muffin cups.

Rosemary Recycled Bread Pudding

What to do with half a loaf of otherwise-excellent olive bread when it's gone a bit, er, stiff? Why, recycle it with some fresh rosemary and good pecorino. Also good for using up odds and ends of sliced bread past its sell-by date that one's spouse may or may not be refusing to eat.

Start with:
A healthy pour (~2 tbsp) olive oil
1 red onion, chopped
2 stalks fresh rosemary, minced

Preheat oven to 375 F. Heat oil in a skillet and saute onion and rosemary until onion is soft.

Then take:
4 c (or however much you have) stale bread, cubed
1/4 c (or however much you like) pecorino cheese, grated

Toss onion mixture with bread. Grate pecorino into the mixture until you can smell it along with the rosemary and onion aromas. Decant mixture into a well-oiled 8" or 9" square baking dish.

Now take:
6 whole eggs
1 c heavy cream
1 c 2% milk
Pecorino cheese to taste, grated

Combine custard ingredients, briefly whisk to blend, and pour over bread mixture. Tamp down bread mixture with the back of your spatula until it's fairly uniformly soaked in the custard. Grate more pecorino over the top, because more is better.

Bake at 375 for an hour or so until custard is firm and a knife comes out clean from the center of the pudding. Extra credit if you correctly pronounce the name of the cheese ("peco-RING").

Frappuccino Rice Pudding

My ex-husband required, as part of his fixed-in-stone morning routine, a half bottle of Starbucks Vanilla Frappuccino every day. Equally fixed in stone was his refusal to consume any grocery product even one day past its sell-by date.

Those Frappuccinos do not come cheap. So when he alerted me to the fact that the untouched four-pack of Frappuccinos in our fridge had passed the threshold date and were now officially untouchable, I couldn't see them go to waste. And I came up with this.

4 9.5-ounce bottles Starbucks Frappuccino (vanilla or other flavor)
1 tbs butter
1 tbs cream (optional)
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp cardamom
1/4 c sugar (or more to taste; I find Frappuccinos pretty damn sweet already)
1 c rice (I used white basmati rice, because it was what I had)

In a saucepan, bring Frappuccinos to a boil. Quickly reduce to a simmer before the foam spills all over your stovetop (oops). Add rice, butter, cream, sugar and spices. Stir. Keep stirring. This is one of those stir-forever deals. You can take fifteen- to thirty-second breaks if your arm gets tired, but basically, stir the pot until the rice cooks and the Frappuccinos thicken into yummy gooey caffeinated pudding. Should take at least a half hour.

Serve warm. I bet this would be awesome with whip and a sprinkling of cocoa/cinnamon/nutmeg, au choix, just like your morning Starbucks. (Note: if your Frappuccinos are past their expiration date, make sure they haven't actually gone bad. If they have, just dump them. Ewwww.)

This porridge is a great breakfast treat for house guests, so long as they're not afraid of the caffeine. It's probably a bit too caffeinated to have for dessert, unless you're my mother-in-law.

Cuisinart Coconut Custard Cupcakes

These are rich and flavorful without being excessively sweet or gooey. They're eggy enough to feel like custard, yet cakey enough that you know you're not just mainlining egg yolks. And how can anything so redolent of coconut and vanilla not taste heavenly?

Also, don't be put off by the Bisquick. It makes these so simple and doesn't demean the flavor in the slightest.

2 c. milk
3/4 c. sugar
1/2 c. Bisquick, or in the alternative, Trader Joe's Buttermilk Pancake and All Purpose Baking Mix
4 eggs
1/4 c. butter, softened
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 c. flaked coconut

Preheat oven to 350 F. Line muffin tins with paper cupcake cups.

Combine all ingredients in food processor with pinwheel blade. Whirl for a minute or so until uniformly combined. Now eyeball it. If the batter looks too runny to you, add a bit more Bisquick. Ladle batter into paper-lined muffin tins.

Bake cupcakes until golden-browned, around 20 minutes (again, eyeball it).

Visiting Inlaws Scones

My inlaws, in town for the weekend of my husband's birthday, adored these scones for breakfast, afternoon tea, and as an after-dinner snack. (They're a fine use for that wheaty Arrowhead Mills Organic Pastry Flour, too.)

2/3 c. butter
3 1/2 c. flour
1/2 c. sugar
4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2/3 c. dried apricots, chopped (or any sweet dried fruit -- dates, prunes?)
1 c. white chocolate chips (I wonder how this would taste with other types of chips...hmmm)
2 eggs
2/3 c. cream or half/half

Preheat oven to 400 F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, or butter it if you don't have parchment paper (but you *really* should get some -- this stuff is the BOMB).

Food processor stage: Process butter, flour, sugar, baking powder and salt in your Cuisinart until mixture is crumbly and granular. You can either add the apricots to the food processor at this stage, which will grind them into the mixture and turn your dough orange, or chop them by hand and add them later, which will yield a white scone with chunks of fruit in it. Your call.

Bowl stage: Remove dough from food processor to a mixing bowl. Stir in apricots (if you haven't already) and white chocolate chips. Stirring by hand, add eggs and just enough cream so dough forms a ball.

Endgame: Turn dough onto a floured surface and knead lightly 10 times. You can either roll it out to 1/4" to 1/3" thickness and cut the scones with a biscuit cutter, or you can just grab handfuls of the dough and pat them into rounds. Sprinkle the rounds with granulated sugar. Bake approximately 15 minutes, or until just starting to brown to golden.

Best served warm -- either fresh from the oven, or zinged for a few seconds in the microwave.

Blessingway Chocolate Cherry Cake

I made this for the blessingway of my fabulous friend Melinda. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding before I was a bridesmaid in hers. She is now on her second pregnancy and vastly deserves goodies like this:

INGREDIENTS

1 cup dried Montmorency sour cherries (about 5 ounces)
1/4 cup brandy
2 cups Ghirardelli semisweet chocolate chips
1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter
6 large eggs, separated
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons fine-quality unsweetened cocoa powder, sifted

PREPARATION

In a bowl* macerate cherries in brandy, stirring occasionally, at least 2 hours, or until brandy is almost absorbed. (*It's great if you stick the cherries and brandy in a Ziploc, the night before you bake, and just shake them every so often. --ed.)

Preheat oven to 350 F. Line bottom of a buttered 10- by 2-inch round cake pan with wax paper or parchment paper and butter the paper.

In a double boiler or in a metal bowl set over a saucepan of barely simmering water (or in a microwave oven! --ed.) melt chocolate and butter, stirring occasionally. Remove top of double boiler or bowl from heat (or microwave! --ed.) and cool mixture.

In a bowl with an electric mixer beat yolks and 1/2 cup sugar until light and fluffy. Add chocolate mixture and stir until combined. Fold in cocoa powder until combined well (be careful not to overmix).

In another bowl with cleaned beaters (or in the same bowl if you do this step first --ed.) beat whites until they hold soft peaks and beat in remaining sugar in a slow stream, beating until meringue just holds stiff peaks. Stir about one fourth meringue into chocolate mixture to lighten and fold in remaining meringue gently but thoroughly. Fold in cherries.

Transfer batter to pan, smoothing top, and bake cake in middle of oven 40 minutes, or until center is just set. Cool cake in pan on a rack 15 minutes. Run a thin knife around edge of pan an invert cake onto rack to cool completely.

If ever a cake existed that honored women, mothers, goddesses and girlfriends as such, this is it.

Vanilla Bean Muffins with Hot Fruit Compote

These were actually failed cupcakes. (Do NOT buy Arrowhead Mills Organic Pastry Flour: it gives anything you bake with it a pronounced whole wheat flavor. If you're baking something which is supposed to taste whole-wheaty, then this stuff is fine, but if you're looking for fluffy white pastry flour, this ain't it.) Anyways, the whole wheat taste made these turn from dreamy cupcakes into passable muffins. Slathered in hot fruity goodness, though, the muffins are passable indeed.

1 vanilla bean
1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, softened
2 cups plus 5 tablespoons sugar
3 1/2 cups flour (wholewheat makes 'em muffins)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 3/4 cups room-temperature water, divided
6 large egg whites

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F. Scrape the seeds out of the vanilla bean.

2. In a stand mixer fitted with the paddle blade, cream the butter, 1 1/2 cups plus 3 tablespoons of the sugar, and the vanilla
seeds.

3. In a large bowl, sift together the flour, salt, and baking powder. Reduce the mixer speed and take turns adding 1/3 of the dry ingredients and 1/2 of the water (7 ounces), mixing well after each addition and scraping the inside of the bowl. Begin and end with the dry ingredients.

4. Fit the mixer with the whisk attachment. In another mixing bowl, beat the egg whites on medium-high speed for 2 to 3 minutes, or until soft peaks form. Reduce the speed to low and slowly add the remaining 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar. Increase the speed to medium-high and beat until stiff peaks form but do not overmix. The egg whites should look glossy. Gently fold the egg whites into the muffin batter in two or three additions, incorporating all the egg whites thoroughly.

5. Spoon the batter into muffin tins lined with paper baking cups, filling each one three-quarters full. Place the pan on the middle rack of the oven and bake for 15 to 20 minutes, or until the centers of the muffins spring back.

Serve each muffin in a small bowl with a dab of ricotta, mascarpone or whipped cream, and a generous scoop of this:

Hot Fruit Compote

1 can peaches, drained and chopped
1 can pears, drained and chopped
1 can cherries, drained
1 can blueberries, drained
1/3 cup brown sugar

(I recommend the organic canned fruit from Whole Foods that's packed in fruit juice with no added sugar.)

Reserve and combine juice from canned fruit. Generously sprinkle brown sugar all around the bottom of a Corningware dish. Layer in the fruits, top with the rest of the brown sugar, and pour in enough of the juice to reach where the fruit meets the side of the dish. No need to cover the fruit. Bake in a 350 degree oven for about 2 hours. Serve hot.

Vanilla-Ricotta Cookies

1 lb. butter
2 c. sugar
3 eggs
1 lb. ricotta cheese
2 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. salt
4 c. flour
1 tsp. baking soda

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line cookie sheets with cooking parchment (what did I do before I discovered cooking parchment? I love this stuff!). Cream together butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Combine the eggs, cheese, vanilla, and salt and add to the butter mixture. Sift together the flour and baking soda and add to rest of mixture. Drop by tablespoonfuls onto cookie sheet. Bake for 15-18 minutes. Cookies will be large and mound-shaped. Do not let them brown. Makes a ton.

Optional: Break up a chocolate Easter bunny (yes, there is a good use to which that stuff can be put!) into chunks and place in a small bowl. Pour a little cream over the chunks and microwave for about twenty seconds. Whisk with the tines of a fork until a shiny glaze forms. Drizzle this over cookies and let solidify.

Saucy Lowbrow Chocolate Cake

Cribbed off the back of a King Arthur flour bag.

1 cup flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa
1 1/3 cups sugar

In a medium sized mixing bowl, whisk these together. If mixture is lumpy, sift or sieve it. Then add:

2 1/4 cups water
2 tsp vanilla
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter, melted, or 1/4 cup vegetable oil

Gently stir till everything is just combined. Don't beat it or the cake will be rubbery.

Pour batter into a lightly greased 8" square or 9" round cake pan. Bake the cake in a preheated 350 F oven for 45 minutes; when done, the top will be set and the bottom bubbly.

Remove the cake from the oven and serve as soon as possible. For best effect, flip the whole thing out onto a serving tray so everyone can admire the chocolate gravy bathing the cake. The fresher out of the oven you can serve it, the smoother and warmer the sauce will be; it cools into a pudding-like consistency.

This was a huge hit at the February clerks' party. Credit for calling it "lowbrow" goes to Lynn M., who assumes that everything I bake must involve fancy ingredients.

October Muffins

2 cups all-purpose flour
~ 2/3 cup sugar
1 Tbsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 cup minced crystallized ginger
1 tsp grated lemon peel
1 1/4 cups pomegranate seeds (1 large pomegranate, or 2 small ones)
1 cup milk
2 large eggs
About 1/4 cup (1/8 lb) butter, melted and cooled

Preheat oven to 425 F. In a bowl, mix flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Add crystallized ginger, lemon peel, and pomegranate seeds, and stir to combine. Make a well in the center.

In a measuring cup, blend milk, egg, and butter. Pour liquid all at once into well. Stir just until batter is moistened; it will be lumpy.

Spoon batter into buttered muffin tins, filling each almost to the rim. (Or just be lazy like me and line the tins with paper muffin cups.) Optional: sprinkle with 1 to 2 teaspoons sugar.

Bake at 425 until lightly browned, about 16 minutes for large muffins, 14 minutes for small. (Small works better if you're on catering duty for Friday breakfast.) Remove muffins from pan at once. Serves a passel of happy law clerks.

Truffles of Iniquity and Vice

1 cup Cabernet Sauvignon
14 oz. semi-sweet chocolate, finely chopped
1 cup heavy cream
1 tsp. vanilla
3/4 tsp. cinnamon
2 Tbsp. butter, room temperature
1 cup cocoa powder

Bring the wine to a boil in a small saucepan over medium-high heat. Reduce to 3 tablespoons. Transfer to a medium bowl. Add the chocolate.

Combine the cream, vanilla and cinnamon in a small saucepan over medium heat. Pour over the chocolate-wine mixture and stir until the chocolate is melted. Add the butter and mix well. (I found a lump of butter in my bowl when making the truffles...be sure it all melts.) Refrigerate until firm -- overnight is best.

Form into small balls, using a melon baller. Roll in the cocoa powder to cover. Truffles may soak up the cocoa a bit.

Refrigerate in sealed containers; rumor has it that these keep for a week.

Don's Original Salmon Cakes

Another invention of my stepfather.

1 can salmon, the cheap kind (about the size of a can of soup), bones removed
17 (yes, 17) saltines, put through the food processor to yield about 2/3 cup cracker crumbs
2 eggs beaten
Dried onion shaken over the beaten eggs -- use your judgment, we like a lot
Paprika to taste -- we like a lot

Combine everything in a mixing bowl, making sure you mash up the salmon. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 2 hours so that the egg softens everything -- letting it sit the whole day is OK for the commuter students out there. Heat a little olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Make little patties out of the mixture and fry them 4 minutes to a side in the oil. (Make sure you have enough oil going, since otherwise the patties will blacken before they're done cooking.) Pat the oil off the finished cakes with a paper towel and serve with spinach sauteed in the same skillet after you're done with the fish. Makes 8-10 cakes. Mmmmmm.

Summer Pesto

Leaves of 3 stalks basil
1 clove garlic, put through a press
1 handful parsley (curly parsley, not the flatleaf kind)
1 handful pignoli nuts
1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese

Whirl all of these in your food processor. Add olive oil, roughly a quarter cup, until sauce is smooth but not runny.

Toss with pasta and serve at room temperature or cooler. If you can get good summer tomatoes and fresh mozzarella, those are excellent on the side.

Bagna Cauda

We eat this every New Year's Eve in my family.

3 cans anchovies, coarsely chopped
10 cloves garlic, minced
1 stick butter
1 cup extra-virgin olive oil (then add the oil from the anchovy can)

Melt butter in oil over low low low heat. Add garlic. Cook over low low low heat until garlic is golden. Add anchovies. Cook over low low low heat until anchovies have dissolved into a layer of anchovy paste on the bottom of your skillet with chunks of garlic in it. There will still be a layer of oil above the 'chovies, with some butter lather floating on top.

Have your family cluster around the hot skillet (remember, keep it on low low low heat) and dip vegetables and crusty bread into the bagna. Everyone has to eat some, if only to share in the post-bagna garlic perfume.

Midsummer Salmon Pâté

2 small cans salmon, or one large, drained (and deboned/de-skinned as needed)
2 tbsp Grey Poupon mustard
3 tbsp Malibu Rum
2 eggs, hardboiled, chopped
1/2 Maui onion, minced
Juice of 1/2 lime
1/4 cup plain yogurt (fat free works fine)
2 dried habanero peppers, reconstituted in simmering water and minced (you can use fewer, or different peppers, or none altogether depending on your tastes)

Throw everything in the Cuisinart and puree. Chill for a few hours to set flavors. Eat on Carr's Table Water Crackers with some chilled sauvignon blanc alongside. Extra credit if you can pull this off in the dead of winter.

Don's Florida Salad Dressing

Popularized by my stepfather.

3/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1 generous tsp white pepper
1 generous tsp sea salt (coarse grained is good)

Combine, shake, let sit for an hour or so until the salt dissolves. Mmmmm. When they're in season, try this dressing over good fresh tomatoes.

Law School Musical Almond Cream Pie

Originally conceived to charm the directors of the law school musical into letting me skip rehearsal on Valentine's Day.

8 oz (1 package) cream cheese, softened
2 cups powdered sugar
8 oz (1 tub) Cool Whip, thawed
8 oz (1/2 jar) almond butter, chunky preferred
2 tbsp vanilla extract
2 pie crusts, graham or chocolate
More Cool Whip and almond slices for garnish

Whip cream cheese in electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment. Add sugar and Cool Whip; whip together until fully blended. Add almond butter and vanilla and whip together until fully blended. Decant mixture into two storebought pie crusts. Freeze overnight in your freezer, or in the car if it's sufficiently cold out. Garnish with Cool Whip dollops and sliced almonds if presentation matters. It usually won't.

Reduced fat Cool Whip may be substituted with minimal impact. Not so sure about reduced-fat cream cheese. Almond butter must be the real thing. (We like the kind from Trader Joe's.) This recipe could probably be halved, if you're not making pie for a crowd.

Curried Chicken, Caribbean Style

Originally conceived over a spring break spent doing law-school work when I would rather have been currying my mother's horses.

1 onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, put through a press
2 tbsp curry powder (a bit more is OK if you're using up the last of the can)
1 tbsp cumin seeds, ground
2 tbsp olive oil
3 boneless chicken breasts, cubed (I don't like dark meat, but if you do, you can use that instead)
2 potatoes, peeled and cubed
2 1/2 cups water
1 tomato, chopped

Throw onion, garlic, curry powder and cumin into your food processor. Whirl to make a paste. Add 1/4 cup water to make the paste pourable. Heat oil in saucepan and decant paste into hot oil. Fry for 5 minutes. Add cubed chicken and fry for 5 more minutes. Add water, tomato, and potatoes. Simmer briskly for twenty minutes or so, until the potatoes are fully cooked through with curry goodness. Most of the water, and almost all of the tomato, will be soaked up. (Caveat: the bottom of the saucepan will burn if you leave it to simmer for too long. Oops.)

Serve over rice only if there's enough sauce left for the rice to soak up, otherwise the potatoes are probably all the starch you need.

Two-Day Atomic Gingersnaps

Worth the effort...worth the wait.

1/2 lb unsalted butter
2 cups sugar
5 tbsp finely minced fresh ginger (yes, five)
2 eggs, beaten
1/2 cup molasses (for an interesting variation, try Chinese bead molasses -- it's a little more bitter than American molasses)
1 generous tbsp white pepper
2 tsp distilled white vinegar
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground cloves
4 cups all-purpose flour

On Day 1: Use the pinwheel-shaped chopping blade in your food processor to cream the butter and sugar until evenly combined. Add the minced ginger, beaten eggs, sugar, molasses, white pepper and vinegar. Whirl until evenly combined, then add the baking soda, cinnamon and cloves. Whirl again until evenly combined.

Scrape batter out of your food processor into a mixing bowl and add the flour, 1 cup at a time, giving it lots of elbow grease. Batter should be doughy and sticky by the time all the flour's been worked in. Divide dough into 3 balls, wrap each in plastic wrap, and stick 'em in the fridge. Leave the dough to chill for 3 hours minimum. I like to let it sit overnight so the flavors soak into each other.

On Day 2: Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Pull out the dough balls one at a time. Flour your hands and any flat surfaces generously; this dough is sticky! (I wind up washing my hands after each tray of cookies.) Pinch off 1-2" chunks of dough one at a time, roll into a ball with your hands, then place each ball on your nonstick baking sheet and flatten into a disc with your fingers. Cookies should be about an inch apart. Bake for 15 minutes or until firm but not dry. Makes about 6 dozen cookies, but these will disappear way faster than you thought possible.

Oven Fried Sweet Potatoes

Almost guiltless, and you'll feel good and calm and productive making them:

1 c chardonnay
1 tbsp olive oil
Healthy shake of allspice
Healthy shake of paprika
Salt to taste
One large sweet potato

Preheat oven to 425. Pour chardonnay into a wine glass. Combine olive oil and spices in a mixing bowl. Peel sweet potato and slice into matchsticks. Drink chardonnay. Toss matchsticks in olive oil mixture and spread out in a single layer on a nonstick cookie sheet. Bake for 15 minutes, then turn them all over, then bake for another 10 minutes or until crunchy. Ignore any alarming "Help, I'm warping!" noises the cookie sheet may make while complaining of the hot oven.

This recipe scales easily; just repeat everything.

Vegan Avocado Milkshakes

In your blender, toss in

1/2 super-ripe avocado
1 cup vanilla soy milk
Enough ice cubes to move the liquid level up to the 2-cup mark
A healthy shaking -- maybe a tablespoon or two -- of your favorite sweetener (I like almond-vanilla flavored powdered sugar)

Puree and serve immediately. Makes two coffee-mugsful. We like these for breakfast.

Some Winter Evening Drinks

Midnight Chocolate Milk--and yet it is neither chocolate, nor milk...

1 part Godiva Chocolate Liqueur
3 parts Vanilla Silk soy milk (yes, I do tend to keep several cartons on hand at all times)

Combine in your largest coffee mug. (Mine is enormous and features a picture of Minnie Mouse sunning herself at the beach.) Works best if you layer in the chocolate first, then add the milk. No stirring should be necessary.

Sauce for the Goose:

1 shot Stoli Vanil
6 oz Vanilla Silk Soy Milk

Combine in a coffee mug. Enjoy before bedtime.

Sauce for the Gander:

1 generous jigger Bacardi white rum
4 oz reduced-fat egg nog
Healthy shake of nutmeg

Combine in a short juice glass. Stir to mix in the nutmeg. Have wife taste to ensure the proper rum-nog balance. Don't let her finish it before you get a taste too.