Frappuccino Rice Pudding

My ex-husband required, as part of his fixed-in-stone morning routine, a half bottle of Starbucks Vanilla Frappuccino every day. Equally fixed in stone was his refusal to consume any grocery product even one day past its sell-by date.

Those Frappuccinos do not come cheap. So when he alerted me to the fact that the untouched four-pack of Frappuccinos in our fridge had passed the threshold date and were now officially untouchable, I couldn't see them go to waste. And I came up with this.

4 9.5-ounce bottles Starbucks Frappuccino (vanilla or other flavor)
1 tbs butter
1 tbs cream (optional)
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp cardamom
1/4 c sugar (or more to taste; I find Frappuccinos pretty damn sweet already)
1 c rice (I used white basmati rice, because it was what I had)

In a saucepan, bring Frappuccinos to a boil. Quickly reduce to a simmer before the foam spills all over your stovetop (oops). Add rice, butter, cream, sugar and spices. Stir. Keep stirring. This is one of those stir-forever deals. You can take fifteen- to thirty-second breaks if your arm gets tired, but basically, stir the pot until the rice cooks and the Frappuccinos thicken into yummy gooey caffeinated pudding. Should take at least a half hour.

Serve warm. I bet this would be awesome with whip and a sprinkling of cocoa/cinnamon/nutmeg, au choix, just like your morning Starbucks. (Note: if your Frappuccinos are past their expiration date, make sure they haven't actually gone bad. If they have, just dump them. Ewwww.)

This porridge is a great breakfast treat for house guests, so long as they're not afraid of the caffeine. It's probably a bit too caffeinated to have for dessert, unless you're my mother-in-law.